


According to Rank

by Aeris_Blue



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Earth-616, but sort of a hodge podge with the movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeris_Blue/pseuds/Aeris_Blue
Summary: Tony by all definitions of the word should be an adult but he still finds time to fuss over petty things.





	According to Rank

Banner sat hunched over the surface of his work table in the far back corner of Tony Stark’s personal lab. His heels were locked against the bottom bar of the stool he was sitting atop of as he dutifully worked on his current project. Stark would tease him about how far away he was from the rest of the lab, or how he only wanted to be away from Tony because of the Hulk, or a multitude of other impetuous comments. The truth of the matter was Banner just liked having one corner of the world to himself that was safe but still had companionship available if he desired it. Though it was never his alone for very long.

 

“Banner! One of the wrongs of the world have been righted!” Tony entered the lab his arms spread in a grandiose expression as his hand clutched a sheet of paper.

 

“They finally made a ‘Most  _ in _ elligable Bachelor list’ and put you at the top,” Banner smirked leaning away from his work as he indulged his colleague.

 

“Huh,” he rubbed his forefinger against his goatee, “no, but good guess.” He placed the paper on the table with a firm hand pressed against it, “the smartest men of our fine world list has been reorganized proper,” he winked his blue eye sparkling with hints of mischief.

 

“What did you do, pay to have your name above Richards’s?” Banner chuckled not giving the paper any attention.

 

“No unfortunately they are not a publisher that lets subtle donations influence their important decisions,” he folded his arms and let out a puff of air.

 

“Important decisions?” Banner mused. This was a kick Tony had been on since the initial list had been published. Several of the more vain thinkers had argued positions like children in a playground spat. Banner on the other hand had been honored to be included in the list let alone at four, right under Hank Pym, his mind was usually so overshadowed by the Hulk’s might it was nice to be recognized. 

 

Tony sat right below him in the fifth spot which he took as a personal insult, though he never gave an exact reason as to why. There were a few of the brainy types who hadn’t even been included in the list, not to mention it was specifically males, so it really shouldn’t have been such a big deal. Tony was grinning broadly now so he knew the sheet currently sitting on the corner of the desk was going to rectify the perceived mistake.

 

Banner looked over the list: the top three remained unchanged Reed Richards, Victor Von Doom, Hank Pym, but the fourth spot was now Tony’s. “Congratulations Mr.Stark,” Banner chuckled, he put the paper down focusing on the intricate machinery laid before him.

 

Tony poked his bottom lip out slightly as his mouth scrunched to one side, “that’s it?”

 

“You got the spot you wanted,” he shrugged, “that’s what you wanted me to see right?”

 

“Well yeah, but you didn’t even see where you were,” Tony let his smile slip in front of his teeth, “or are you in acknowledgment that your placement was wrong last time?”

 

Banner’s expression grew tired as he pulled the paper back up, he had assumed him and Stark had just switched slots but that wasn’t the case, “I’m sixth,” his voice came flatly. This was just a poll there wasn’t any merit. Measuring intelligence by IQ was faulty, there wasn’t any real means of understanding a person’s intelligence. His fingers drummed against the desk, he could feel himself growing upset, but it was so petty.

 

Yeah, when he had seen himself listed at four he’d never really admit it aloud but it felt pretty good, being above Tony was just icing on the cake. So often he had doubted if he was anything to the world but a giant green menace but there it was, his intelligence recognized amongst his peers. Of course Tony couldn’t stand it,  _ of course _ Tony thought he was more deserving, that’s who he was and Banner didn’t care. It was nothing more than ink on the page.

 

“Nothing? Come on Banner I know you’re more competitive then that,” Tony teased. “You went on and on about how childish I was for caring about my placement,” he dropped down to look Banner in the eye by casually leaning on the table, “do you really not care?”

 

“No,” Banner laughed, “I don’t,” but Tony saw, Tony always saw. How could he not? He was the only person that had never shown any trepidation getting so pressingly close to the volatile time bomb. Not volatile, you are in control, Banner corrected his thoughts. Every twitch had a different meaning and Tony knew each of them, of course Banner knew all Tony’s tells too. 

 

It was so plain to see that Tony was simply bored, and because he was he was going to take it out on whatever victim was in reach, Banner. He’d learned a while ago not to play this game.

 

“Not gonna have it big man,” Tony sat on the desk. “You’re telling me it doesn’t bother you at all that some kid pushed you down two slots?”

 

“The kid only did one slot the grown child did the other one,” Banner retorted.

 

“Come on Banner just admit you care about it,” Tony’s smile tugged across his face in mild amusement.

 

“I don’t,” Banner allowed the irritability to read across his face as he turned back to his work.

 

Tony wasn’t going to have it, he slid around the table and sat back down in eyeshot, “Banner,” he put his hands out smiling his billionaire genius playboy philanthropist smile and raised his brows just right to thoroughly aggravate Banner.

 

“Okay yes,” Banner glared, “it does.”

 

“Told you,” Stark smiled before his tone dropped to a condescending mockery of Banner’s voice, “but it doesn’t matter.” Banner’s mouth twitched into a neutral expression as he tried to focus on his project. “Oh come on Banner get over it,” Tony teased. It was obviously teasing, obviously meant to lighten the mood but it failed in its’ intent.

 

Banner tensed, “it was nice, for once being recognized as myself, being praised for myself and not that thing I become.” He ran his fingers through his curly hair fighting against an uncombed snare.

 

Tony raised a brow, “okay but you have to admit it was a bit much.” Tony had ventured into Banner’s space to pick a fight, now that he’d finally found it he was going to press it as far as he could.

 

“What?” Banner glared.

 

“I’m obviously smarter than you,” he shrugged. “Look at this world I’ve created, I’m the face of futurism and I’m bringing the future to the present.”

 

Banner let out an, admittedly, unhealthy laugh, “you are an innovator Stark, a darn good one but innovation is building off of others ideas an inventor pulls life out of nothing.” Banner stood up a wicked smile across his face, “your world comes from funds that most of us could never dream of having. Do you even realize how much of an advantage that is?” 

 

“Hey I could build a weapon out of a rock, a paperclip, and a rubber band if I had to,” Stark countered.

 

“But when do you  _ have  _ to?” Tony opened his mouth but Banner didn’t let it turn to words, “your first suit was a terrible situation that I doubt anyone but you would have come out of for the better. But everytime this world kicks you down, everytime you find yourself broken and without hope, everytime you find yourself crying on the streets the world,” he searched for a word, “resets, then you’re back to being on top at lavish parties with expensive sports cars and liquors and enough girls to make everything that happened before hand a dream.”

 

Tony sat against the table and pressed his hands together listening to Banner rant with an amused but still neutral expression. He didn’t bother trying to speak up, it was rare Banner actually spoke about things that were bothering him making this an experience pushing towards foreign. He would take the verbal lashing if it meant there was something new to see, but only for so long.

 

“And the world has been so cruel to you Bruce?” Tony proposed when Banner had to breath from his tirade.

 

He clenched his fist, “no. I’ve met plenty of people who have had it worse than me. People who never even had the chance to push forward.” He began to relax, “but everytime the world ‘fixes the order’ I’m always alone. I’m on the run. No matter how much control I may have gained it’s lost, again, and again. I haven’t lost people like you have, not for long, but it’s always a matter of time before I’m public enemy number one again.”

 

Tony let out a single exhale of air that tried its’ best to resemble a sympathetic laugh, “have you been hanging out with Wade again? Resets, fixes the order, interesting theory you’ve got there. It’s wrong though.”

 

“Of course because it didn’t come from the brilliant mind of Tony Stark,” Banner gestured vaguely.

 

“No, because it has been a long time since you’ve really been alone,” Tony crossed his arms. “When we met, you and me, for the first time after your experiment gone awry I’d have never guessed you were that creature, granted I also barely recognized you as that nerdy kid from that terrible seminar,” he smiled at that, “I blame the booze.” 

 

Tony got a distant look as he tried to remember where he was going with his tangent, “but we all learned there was a person inside that monster. It changed things, it wasn’t a hunt anymore it was more about subduing the beast or just getting it to cease whatever tantrum it was on.”

 

“No matter what happens to the world there’s still those of us that stay by you,” Tony rolled his wrist, “I am probably not a good example,” he winked. “But what about Jen? That kid, what’s his name?”

 

Banner chuckled, “Rick Jones.”

 

“Right! Heck he’s been there since the get go,” Tony shrugged, “somehow you befriended Logan too? Not exactly sure how that happened.”

 

“Me neither,” light was back in his eyes and a smile across his face. He rubbed at his arm his brown eyes focusing on Stark, “Strange most of the time and Parker is a good kid,” he chuckled.

 

“See big guy?” Stark slipped off the table his regular swagger bouncing his feet against the floor. “You’re not alone, you never are for long, someone will always find ya, no matter the ‘reset’,” his lips carried a laugh on them.

 

“You’re-” Banner made a play at the difficulty of the phrase, “right,” he coughed dramatically as if it had offended his throat to say such things.

 

“Oh hush,” Stark cooed. “So, uh, with that does that mean you admit I’m smarter than you?” He elbowed Banner in the ribs.

 

Banner pushed him away, “absolutely not, my emotional distress aside I am obviously the proper candidate for the number four slot.” Stark rolled his eyes ready to begin his next argument when Banner nudged him again.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s not an Undertale fic... but it’s still Undertale inspired. I was thinking about the reset function and thinking about all of the games I had restarted, realizing it would suck to be in a world that constantly sets back to zero... like comic books.
> 
> After Infinity War a friend and I were discussing the smartest marvel characters and I tried to find the list I had found- only to be completely incapable of finding it. And that is what inspired this short little snippet of dialogue between the two.
> 
> As much as I love the Science Bros in the movies I’m really hoping they’ll bring in their sort of competitive distaste of one another... but probably not.


End file.
